Thoughts experienced when in crowds with your pregnant partner and bump
Throughout the pregnancy, I like to think I’ve been the voice of reason. A calming presence to soothe any stresses on Jenna’s mind, balancing the scales when the baby brain creeps in.
You might say I’m Bruce Banner and she’s the Hulk.
However, a great deal of the pregnancy has been us spending nights in, going for civilised meals, trips to the cinema and so on. It’s not as though we’ve been hitting rowdy nightclubs.
The closest we came to congestion was in Paris, but even that wasn’t too much hassle or cause for concern. And at that point (week 17), Jenna didn’t show as much and was managing extremely well.
While she continues to manage extremely well, the third trimester has started and she’s already feeling the effects with ultra-tiredness and shortness of breath, plus Bump is increasingly prominent.
“I exhibited baby brain of my own.”
Given that, our recent trip to Manchester was probably when I exhibited some baby brain of my own, as – in my view – she’s becoming even more fragile than I already thought.
Strolling back to our apartment from dinner on Friday at about 11.30pm, there were various groups of drunks dotted around, which you would expect from any of our fine British cities.
But one pair was a particular cause for alarm, at least to my eyes. As they staggered in a zig-zag across the pavement, I found myself uncontrollably barking at them to get out the way as they veered towards Jenna and Bump.
I was on high alert after that. The next day in the city centre I was scanning around for signs of danger, tutting, grunting and scowling at anyone I considered to be trespassing.
On Friday this week, Jenna was heading into town for the day so we departed together, given it was in the same direction I was travelling for work.
As it stands, Jenna doesn’t feel comfortable on the trains alone so she prefers having me there. I can’t blame her, I don’t feel comfortable on trains either – have you smelt them? – and have to use them daily.
Of course, I was more than happy to accompany her on the journey, as it provided a chance to act as a human shield and put my mind at ease.
I should emphasise that with a name like Zen, I try to exude that air, but there’s something about crowds and pregnancy that is like a red rag to a bull.
So whether you know this crowd-based craziness or are yet to get there, I’ve put together an assortment of thoughts that run through your mind in the moment, using a series of GIFs.
(1) You wake up in the morning – and it’s Friday!
(2) The missus and Bump are beside you, all is right with the world
(3) You give them a warm greeting before heading downstairs…
(4) …where you prepare breakfast – the most important meal of the day
(5) And you couldn’t be happier because food means gains, bro
(6) You’ve left the house early, so you can stroll for the train (plus you don’t want the other half to get out of breath)
(7) But when you’re trying to cross the road, drivers don’t want to stop for the pregnant lady
(8) Do you see us now?
(9) Keep calm, it’s okay
(10) Too late – the baby brain has kicked in
(11) You’re now looking for all potential threats to your partner and Bump
(12) When someone gets too close, you give them a warning shot with the eyes
(13) You’ll be ready offer a gentle verbal recommendation at first
(14) And reinforce the message if necessary
(15) Your adrenaline is racing now
(16) But you remind the missus she is in safe hands
(17) Then get back to business
(18) You’re ready to charge down the train carriage to find her a seat
(19) But someone sees her Baby on Board badge, so she lets you know you can relax
(20) You arrive at your destination and double check the coast is clear
(21) Mission accomplished – you can let your guard down again
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